Navigating a High Conflict Ex

Navigating a High-Conflict Ex (Separation Edition)

For when the relationship is over, but the conflict isn’t.

For some people, difficult behaviour doesn’t stop at separation; it moves into money, the court process, technology and the people around you. This guide helps you recognise what’s happening, respond without getting pulled in, and protect your money, records and safety.

It focuses on behaviour, not labels. It doesn’t diagnose anyone, because you don’t need to know why someone behaves as they do to protect yourself from it.

What’s inside

• What “high-conflict” means, and why things can get worse after you separate
• Tactics you may recognise: DARVO, blame-shifting, moving the goalposts, triangulation, hoovering and smear campaigns
• If you still live together: common pressure points and what tends to help
• Money tactics and what to do, including how your bank can help
• When the court becomes the battlefield: repeated applications, ignored orders and delay
• Tech tactics, from location tracking to account access
• When family, friends and adult children are drawn in
• Grey rock, BIFF or EAR: which approach fits which moment, with worked BIFF examples
• Boundaries that hold, and a safety plan for a shared home
• Coercive control, protection orders, and records that help
• Protecting your energy, who can help with what, and a quick reference card

Best for: anyone separating from a partner who keeps conflict going, through money, the courts, other people or constant messages.

23-page PDF in colour and print-friendly versions, plus an editable Canva version. Instant download.